Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She's the barista slut.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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