the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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