I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
