my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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