I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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