Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
