He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
