Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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