do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
