What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
