He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
