My entire life is one complicated drinking game
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
