That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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