The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
