Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So apparently I’m into choking now
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
