It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
