So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.