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• (802): View more from Vermont

  and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  not the response he usually gets im sure.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.

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  29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard

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• (518): View more from New York

  They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.

  (1-518): View more from New York

  Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i want to face-plant into her vagina

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.

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  21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?

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