So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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