Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.

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(206): It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts. http://tfl.nu/etp3

Replies (1) Good night (893) Bad night (1079)
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(818): View more from California

i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick

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(818): i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick http://tfl.nu/avb9

Replies (4) Good night (655) Bad night (1398)
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(334): View more from Alabama

Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.

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(334): Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me. http://tfl.nu/y7m9

Replies (24) Good night (2437) Bad night (681)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.

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(405): Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one. http://tfl.nu/zdto

Replies (45) Good night (5362) Bad night (654)
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(317): View more from Indiana

i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.

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(317): i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone. http://tfl.nu/ph56

Replies (57) Good night (3321) Bad night (5373)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.

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(814): Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade. http://tfl.nu/7055

Replies (49) Good night (1590) Bad night (7750)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.

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(605): it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead. http://tfl.nu/wbpi

Replies (18) Good night (1805) Bad night (6297)
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(210): View more from Texas

If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.

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(210): If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already. http://tfl.nu/pwun

Replies (7) Good night (2635) Bad night (1069)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor

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(412): I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor http://tfl.nu/ext1

Replies (5) Good night (1073) Bad night (2219)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.

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(920): I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable. http://tfl.nu/ga3p

Replies (5) Good night (1586) Bad night (617)
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(815): View more from Illinois

THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES

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(815): THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES http://tfl.nu/zxql

Replies (7) Good night (910) Bad night (868)
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(347): View more from New York

Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.

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(347): Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm. http://tfl.nu/3ccq

Replies (0) Good night (643) Bad night (418)
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(309): View more from Illinois

And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.

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(309): And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left. http://tfl.nu/6io8

Replies (1) Good night (680) Bad night (348)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.

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(508): Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance. http://tfl.nu/togo

Replies (0) Good night (494) Bad night (628)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.

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(+44): The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead. http://tfl.nu/d3l5

Replies (1) Good night (1044) Bad night (282)

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