and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
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Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
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My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?