The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
