how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
