Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize