Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
