I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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