Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
