I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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