Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize