Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
