I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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