she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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