sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
NoShamevember. You game?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
