The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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