All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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