xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
