Your face is a jimmy john
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
