just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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