we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
