She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
