is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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