Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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