Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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