The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
