i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
