I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
