You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
high people should be assigned attendants
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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