I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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