Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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