on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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