is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
