i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
