you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
