do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
