Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
