Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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