girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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