Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
