if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
