I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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