Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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