i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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